Grace and peace, Saints.

Satan hates marriage.  So, in that we, the Body of Christ, are the enemies of Satan, then we can look for him to do all that he can to destroy our marriages.  To this end, Satan has an arsenal of weapons at his disposal.  But the weapon that would appear to have given him the greatest success is the Feminist Movement.  This movement was designed to usurp the authority of a husband in the home by causing women to feel that being in submission to their husbands is being subservient to them and thus robs them of their “independence” and “self-identity.”

The Feminist Movement has been very effective in destroying the man’s place as head of the household by making women ashamed of their role as mothers and homemakers–a role that has been demonized for decades in the media.  The media translates the role of wife/mother/homemaker as being “barefoot and pregnant” and ignorant and portrays the woman who fills this role as being co-dependent, having low self-esteem, and having no identity of her own. 

Feminists constantly parrot about the line that the traditional role of women as wives and homemakers robs women of their own identity and self worth.  Consequently, many women seek to forge for themselves an identity completely separate from that of their husbands.  For this reason, women are increasingly choosing to keep their maiden name when they marry rather than adopt their husband’s family name.  Others are opting for the middle ground: tagging their husbands’ name to their maiden name as an addendum.

All this runs counter to the Bible, which teaches that once they marry, the man and the woman “become one flesh.”  They no longer have a separate identity, though they are clearly separate people.

Sadly, this movement has even swept through the Christian church, which now caters largely to women and even promotes them as the spiritual heads of the household.  Though church attendance in general has been declining in recent years, church attendance among women–especially black women–is on the increase.  This may seem like a good thing, but if one looks carefully, one may see that many of these women seem hostile to men.  I believe this to be largely due to the influence of mega church pastors like T.D. Jakes, Juanita Bynum, and so-called Christian celebrities like Steve Harvey, all of whom preach an essentially feminist gospel.

The Hollywood motion picture and music industries have played no small part in the feminization of the Christian church, evidenced most conspicuously by the popularity of actor/film maker Tyler Perry and his signature character of Medea: a loud-mouthed, gun-toting, offensive “Christian” matriarch apparently based on the stereotypical strong-willed and deeply spiritual grandmother who was the anchor and bulwark of many black families (including the author’s).  Perry’s character, however, is only nominally Christian.

Make no mistake: feminism and the anarchy it has spawned will be here until Jesus returns.  What then, is the Christian husband to do, whose household has been touched by this Satanic menace?  The answer may be in a little-quoted verse of the first epistle of the apostle Peter:

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

What means the phrase “according to knowledge?”  I believe it means that we should bear in mind that our wives are not only the physical descendants of Eve, but also the spiritual descendants of Eve.  As all Christians should know, the Bible teaches that Eve was deceived by Satan in the garden of Eden into eating of the forbidden fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  This disobedience was the first sin, and because of this sin, all mankind has inherited the sin nature.  But what few realize is that, although the responsibility for this sin fell upon Adam (for he was responsible for his woman), he himself was not deceived:

“And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression” (1 Timothy 2:14).

This is why the Bible refers to the woman as “the weaker vessel.”  If mankind inherited his nature from Adam and Eve, and Eve’s nature led to her being deceived, then all women have inherited Eve’s nature.  It is important to this discussion to determine the exact nature that women have inherited from the first woman, and we can do so by examining what the Bible teaches us about Eve’s rationale that led to her sin:

“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat…” (Genesis 3:6).

This verse teaches us some very important things about the way many women think.  Let us, therefore, dissect it.

“The woman saw…

1.  “That the tree was good for food.”

This is how Eve justified eating of the fruit.  God had told them not to eat of the fruit of this tree, however, Eve attempted to justify disobeying God’s commandment by noting that the fruit of the tree of knowledge was edible.  In other words, Eve was saying that God should not have forbidden them to eat from a perfectly good tree.  She was, in effect, accusing God of being impractical.  We can see this reasoning in women of the present day.  If a woman wants to do something that she knows she ought not to do, she will attempt to justify it using logic, when often the motive for doing the thing was anything but logical.

2.  “That [the tree] was pleasant to the eyes.”

This is how Satan lures women.  There is an old saying that “the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”  Men are usually more practical than women.  A man must take care of his family.  In order to take care of his family, he must work, and to work, he must eat.  The logic, therefore, is that if you want to keep a man, know how to cook.  Women, on the other hand, are creatures who are attracted to things that touch them on a sensory level.  This is reflected even in the language that women use.  While a man may say, “I think,” women most often respond, “I feel.”  At the moment of temptation, the allure of the tree was stronger to Eve than God’s commandment.

This is no less true today.  Satan knows that in order to make sin look good to women, he must appeal to their senses.  And just as Eve was powerless to resist Satan then, many women are just as susceptible to his machinations now.

3.  “[That it was] a tree to make one wise.”

This is what lies at the heart of the feminist movement.  You see, Eve did not need to be wise, because she lived in the garden with an All-Wise God, and the first man, Adam, who, being created in the image of God, and having not yet been touched by the curse of sin, was likely intelligent beyond anything modern man can or will achieve.  Eve had everything she needed, so there was no need for her to desire to be wise.  It is also important to understand that Satan told Eve that she could “be as gods, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:5).  So, when the Bible tells us that she saw that the tree was able to make one wise, it is not discernment that is meant here.  Eve aspired to be as wise as God.  And if it were possible for her to do so, then she would no longer have needed Him. 

And therein lies the key.  The feminist movement attempts to make men obsolete, by promoting the lie that women are just as strong, just as smart, and just as capable of “success” as a man.  A woman who aspires to be as wise as her husband attempts to usurp the authority of her husband by making him of no further use to her.

Now many women do not appreciate that the Bible refers to them as the weaker vessel.  But when they express their disdain of the term, they seem to understand “weaker” to mean “weak.”  But the Bible does not say that women are the “weak vessel,” but the “weaker vessel.”  There is a difference.

Though not physically as strong as the average man, woman are not weak.  It takes a great deal of strength to have a baby.  Men were not made to have children, and so God did not program men to handle the pain of childbirth.  A woman, though, being created to bear children, is able to handle much more pain than a man.  Again, there are exceptions, but for the most part, women seem to be able to handle a great deal more pain than a man.

Women are not stupid.  Some of the smartest people I have known have been women.  Women are naturally good multi-taskers.  Women are great prioritizers.  And they are great at details.  They can not only see the forest AND the trees, but the critters and all the insects.  And everyone knows that women have that famous built in compass.  They always know where they are and when they are.  I have driven across America many times by myself and gotten lost, but I have never been loss when there was a woman in the car.  Never.

What, then, does the Bible mean by “the weaker vessel?”  I don’t believe it is talking about carnal things, but spiritual things.  Women have inherited Eve’s nature and a great part of that nature is a predisposition to be deceived by Satan.  She is generally spiritually weaker than the man.  Weaker, I say, than the man; not inferior to the man.  She also has a tendency to attempt to usurp authority.

So in order to dwell with our wives “according to knowledge” as the Bible teaches, we need to be cognizant that women are naturally prone to deception and we need to recognize in what ways our wives are vulnerable and how they could be taken advantage of, and we should take steps to minimize their exposure to potential problems.

If, for example, your spouse is weak in the area of financial stewardship, she should not have unfettered access to the family’s finances.  It may not be prudent, therefore, for a man in such a situation to have a joint checking account or credit card with his wife.  It may also not be a good idea to cosign on any loans with her. 

If your wife is recovering from substance abuse such as alcoholism, it would not be a good idea to keep alcoholic substances in the house.  It may also be necessary to monitor your wife’s comings and goings to an extent to be aware of opportunities that Satan could use to tempt your wife to fall back into her old ways.  And it may be beneficial to monitor where and with whom she goes as well as how she spends her money.

If your wife is weak in the faith, an unbeliever, or a convert from a religious cult or false religion, you may need to be especially vigilant, as many of these groups will go to great lengths to get a person back.  Moreover, if your spouse does not have a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, she will likely lack discernment in many areas and may not have the ability to distinguish between good and bad or prudent and foolish. 

Never forget that many live by the old adage, “keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.“ They will attempt to befriend the unwitting spouse and plant the seed of discontent or discord in her marriage.  This happens more often than many of us are aware and is the reason why the apostle Paul warned that false prophets will “creep into houses and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with diverse lusts” (2 Timothy 3:6).

I have personal experience with this phenomenon.  A few years ago, a young couple moved into our apartment building in Germany, and within a few short months had befriended both my then teenage daughter and my wife without my knowledge.  My only inkling that something was wrong was that both my wife and daughter had suddenly begun to rebel.  When I began to pray about it and slowly put the pieces together, the Lord showed me that it was the young couple–specifically the wife–that was the cause of the rebellion.  She had befriended my wife one day by giving her a ride home from dropping my child off at school where (coincidentally) her own daughter attended.  I don’t know how she managed to gain my daughter’s confidence, but I was to later learn that my daughter would stop by the woman’s house on occasion on her way back from school. 

Now don’t think for one minute that the woman befriending both my wife and daughter was a coincidence.  This was planned well in advance, as was, I believe, her coming to that apartment building in the first place.  She was sent there for the express purpose of winning the confidence of the women in my house so that she could later destroy the sanctity of our home by influencing them to rebel against my authority.  And rebel they did. 

Mine was not an isolated incident.  The divorce rate among Christians is approaching that of the unsaved.  This too, is no coincidence.  I truly believe that, as it was this woman’s assignment to infiltrate and destroy my family, there are others whose mission it is to destroy other Christian families–especially those of pastors, elders, evangelists, and other men of God.  And one way they are accomplishing this is by identifying, targeting, and influencing the women in these families, in particular those women who are spiritually weak.  Watch out for this.

Dwelling with our wives according to knowledge also helps us to pray effectively for them, asking God to give them a measure of discernment in the areas where they are lacking.  This is in keeping with the apostle Peter’s admonition to be sober and vigilant (1 Peter 5:8).  This is extremely important.  Satan knows all of our weaknesses because it was he who gave them to us.  In this spiritual warfare, we don’t have the luxury of time to get to know ourselves and our wives.  It took at least a generation for us to develop into the person we are, so it would normally take at least half as long for us to learn ourselves and at least as long for us to learn our spouses.  And all the while we are in school, Satan is busy exploiting our weaknesses.  We must, therefore, enlist the aid of the Holy Spirit to show us not only what our own issues are, but what our wives’ issues are as well.  To do that we have to stay in prayer.

Lastly, Peter tells us that we must give honor to our wives remembering that though they are weaker than we, they are still heirs together with us of “the grace of life.”  We may be slightly ahead of them while we run this race (because God has ordained it so, according to His idea of order), but God’s plan is for us to finish together.  We are all sinners and partakers of the same grace.  We should, therefore, treat our wives as joint heirs–sisters. 

It should be especially noted that in so doing, Scripture says that our prayers will not be hindered, which implies that not following this commandment would hinder our prayers.  This demonstrates just how important this is to God.  Though the man is the head of the household, he is by no means to lord it over his wife.  The man and his wife are partners–joint heirs of the grace of God, and the wife is by no means insignificant.  That said, the husband is responsible for his wife as Adam was responsible for Eve, and the wife is responsible to her husband.

That to disregard this commandment could be a hindrance to our prayer life means that to not dwell with our wives according to knowledge is a sin, because we are failing, as husbands, in our responsibility to be good stewards of our marriages and priests of our families, constantly interceding on behalf of our wives and children (James 5:16, Job 1:4-5).  We ought not to fail in this responsibility.

Let us, therefore, not only love, cherish, and protect our wives, but let us dwell with them according to knowledge and honor them as joint heirs of God’s grace.

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Be encouraged and look up, for your redemption draweth nigh.

The Still Man