Happy Fathers Day to all fathers–saved or not–and greetings to the rest of the world–saved or not.

As I reflected on the meaning of Father’s Day, I realized that the twenty-first century has seen more American children grow up without their fathers than at any other time in the history of this country, save wartime. This should not be. Fathers are vitally important to their children’s emotional and psychological development and well being, helping to mold their character and self-image. Fathers are important as examples, teachers, role models, and nurturers.

A good father lives by example and sets the example for his children.  As the first male in his daughter’s life, a father sets the example of what a man ought to be, showing her by example what she should look for in a prospective husband.  Studies have shown that many women who are divorced or in dysfunctional marriages grew up without a father in their lives.  They therefore lacked an example—good or bad–of what a husband and father looks like.  The father is the example for his children of how a husband should maintain healthy relationships with the opposite sex, in particular his wife.  Finally, a father should serve as the example of how a father and husband should manage his household and discipline his children. 

The father is also his child’s first teacher.  Children learn from their fathers how to handle the challenges of life wisely, maturely, and responsibly.  They learn the value of patience, honesty, accountability and dependability.  And they learn from their fathers the value of hard work.

In most cases, a child’s father is his first moral example.  A good father therefore serves as a role model for his children.  As such, he sets the pattern for the their behavior, demonstrating how a mature, responsible adult should speak and act, and deal with the outside world.  It is a proven fact that children raised in a home with a responsible father are generally more mature and have fewer disciplinary problems.

The nurturing loving influence of a father is as important as that of a mother in a child’s formative years.  This is as true for boys as it is for girls.  In an increasingly hostile and violent world, boys need the unconditional love of a father to counter the dangerous influence of peer pressure.  And a father helps his daughter to form a healthy self-image by validating her and making her feel attractive and valued.  Nurturing of this sort helps counter the harmful influences of peer pressure.

Children who grow up without a father statistically are at a greater risk of becoming substance abusers, dropping out of school, being incarcerated, bearing and fathering children out of wedlock, or marrying multiple times. 

The Gospel of John demonstrated the importance of The Father in the life of Jesus Christ:

The Father As Example:

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do” (John 5:19).

The Father As Teacher:

“I do nothing of myself, but as my Father hath taught me” (John 8:28).

The Father As Role Model:

“I speak that which I have seen with my Father” (John 8:38).

The Father As Nurturer:

“Therefore doth my Father love me” (John 10:17).

If Jesus, Who is God Almighty, was so greatly influenced by His father, imagine the profound influence we earthly fathers have on our mortal children.

Moreover, when Jesus on the cross became sin for us (2 Corinthians 5:21), His Father had to leave Him for a season.  This separation was more agonizing than the pain Jesus suffered.  For Jesus said nothing with respect to His suffering, but when He could no longer feel His Father’s presence, He cried out, “Father, Father, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46).

If Jesus, Who is the Creator of the universe, sorely missed His father when He left Him—even though He knew it would only be for a short season—how much greater must earthly children miss their fathers when they abandon them, having no idea when or if they will return?

Clearly, fathers are crucial to the healthy development of children.  Under no circumstances, then, must we fathers leave our children.  We hold their futures—indeed, their very lives—in our hands.

If you need help being a good father, just ask Jesus. Here is what to pray:

“Dear Lord Jesus, I need help becoming a good father. I know that you died on the cross for my sins, and in so doing, made it possible for me to be the father you would have me to be.  Please forgive my sins, and come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior.  Thank you for saving me and helping me to become the father my children need me to be.”

If, as a father, you said that prayer, and meant it, then you can look forward to the Lord Jesus making you into the father you want to be and that He wants you to be.  You have my word on it, as well as the word of every former lousy father (which includes me) who ever prayed such a prayer.

Happy Father’s Day!

The Still Man