Cancer survivor Roger Ebert

Grace and peace unto you.

There were a few things going on in the world that I wanted to talk about today, but I think I will perhaps talk about them tomorrow.  I just finished watching a video where Roger Ebert appeared on Ted Talks speaking about dealing with the inability to speak since having his lower jaw removed due to cancer.

It was a very moving presentation.  At first, Mr. Ebert used Apple’s “Alex” voice synthesizer on his MacBook to speak, but after a few minutes, he deferred to his wife and two other gentlemen who read from scripts to convey his thoughts to the audience rather than encumber them with the computerized voice for too long.

Mr. Ebert talked about his struggles to find a digital voice that was natural and as closely as possible imitated normal speech.  He shared how difficult it was for him to have to type as fast as possible so that in a conversational situation the other party would not have to wait that long as he typed.  He said that there is html code that he can use in a conversation that would help the synthesized voice to mimic subtle nuances in speech such as voice inflection, but that it is much too slow in a natural setting when he already has the task of typing as fast as he can so that the conversation can flow naturally.

Mr. Ebert said that at the encouragement of his wife, he contacted a software company in Scotland that was able to use samples of his voice from existing tapes and audio material from his long career in television.  The company was able to use that material and synthesize it into a computerized voice that sounded almost exactly like his natural voice.  He played a sample and indeed, it sounded almost exactly the way I remember him from “At the Movies.”

Mr. Ebert related something very interesting that I have not been able to forget.  He spoke about how much our voices are tied into who we are as people and how not being able to express ourselves any longer can actually change who we are.  He said that in his case, having to rely on another voice to speak for him actually brought about the birth of a new person.  This was something that I have never thought about, but I can certainly see how that could happen.  He also talked about how uncomfortable he felt without his computer and how he spends much more time listening in conversations than he used to, rather than slow the conversation down by typing.

Possibly the saddest and most sobering part of the presentation is when he talked about the physical toll this ordeal had taken on him with all the surgeries he has undergone.  He said that on four occasions his carotid artery actually ruptured, and that on one occasion had he not been listening to a particular album longer than he should have, he would have died in his car.  Fortunately, the artery ruptured before he left the hospital and doctors were able to save his life.  He also talked about the way people react when they see him; how they speak to him with a loud voice as though he were deaf, and how many avert their eyes when they see him, because he reminds them of their own fragility and mortality.

His wife, Chaz, who did a very good job of holding herself together, read this portion of the presentation and one could plainly see that she was suffering for her husband.  What I liked about her was that there was not an ounce of self-pity on her behalf.  Her concern was clearly for her husband, who at one point (through his wife) said that he looked like the Phantom of the Opera, to which his wife vehemently protested.  He is truly blessed, in spite of it all, to have someone by his side, and that he is not going through this difficult time alone.

Mr. Ebert devoted the final minutes of his presentation to how computer technology and the internet have given him a second chance at life and enabled him to express himself even though he can no longer speak.  He talked about how he has met so many supportive people, through his blog and Twitter, who have gone through similar trials such as one man who is cripple, and another who has to type with his toes.  I was very much encouraged by this man’s story because, even though I have the power to speak, I am utterly alone in this world, having been either disowned by family and friends or cruelly torn away from the only people who still love me.

I have always been the black sheep in my family, so I am used to being alone.  But, when you have a burning desire within you to share what Jesus has done for you and to help others who are going through various trials with the knowledge and encouragement that the Lord has given you, it can be very difficult.  Our situations are different but similar: he has a captive audience but can’t speak to them, I am very much able to speak, but no one wants to hear.

Enter the internet!  This blog enables me to share with the lost the love, hope, and salvation that are in Christ Jesus, as well as to encourage, edify, and admonish the body of Christ.  What a blessing! I thank God for this miracle of modern technology!  Though I would never venture to compare my pithy circumstances with Roger Ebert’s, I know something of how it feels to have found one’s voice on the internet.

But how do you share the love of Jesus with someone in Mr. Ebert’s situation?  How can you convince someone that is going through such a trial that the Lord Jesus loves and cares for them and has a plan for their life?  I have to confess that I don’t know how.  I desperately want to know how.  But I fear that I am no different than most people, who have petty fears about the disabled.  I have always wanted to witness to them, but have never tried because I have never walked in their shoes.  It would be incredibly fake and pretentious of me to try to tell them to have faith and be encouraged and trust in the Lord, when that is hard enough for able-bodied people to do.  I pray that the Lord will give me wisdom in this area.

I am glad that I saw Roger Ebert’s video.  This Christian walk can be so difficult, but it’s nothing compared to what Mr. Ebert has gone through and must yet go through.  It was very encouraging.

Mr. Ebert is also not a believer, as during his presentation, he spoke of the world as being billions of years old.  With his newfound access to so many people, perhaps there is someone in a similar situation that has somehow found the Lord Jesus and can share his testimony with Roger Ebert.

We all have our own burdens to bear, trials to go through, and difficulties to overcome, especially in this economy, but if you can spare a moment, please pray for strength for Roger Ebert and his wife Chaz and all those who are going through similar circumstances.  And while we are at it, let us ask God to help us to overcome our own ignorance and prejudice.

In Love,

The Still Man

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