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Jesus said, “Be Ye Not Unequally Yoked,” But If It’s Too Late For That… — No Comments

    • Hi, Debbie. I read briefly through the article at the link you provided. I don’t agree with this person’s synopsis. God is not in the middle of all marriages; only those between Christians. If you notice in the example I gave from 1 Corinthians 7, married Christians are not given any leeway as far as leaving one another. This is because God has blessed their union and God does not make mistakes. However, God has made provision for Christians married to non-Christians, because He understands the circumstances under which it could happen, some of which I listed.

      Someone asked the author of the article if God will forgive him because he or she married a divorced person, and the author said, No; that the only way to right the wrong is to leave the divorced person. This is patently false. Take the example of David in 2 Samuel. David had an adulterous affair with Bathsheba and he also had her husband, Uriah, killed. God did not like this at all, because, as the prophet explained, by his actions, David gave God’s enemies the opportunity to blaspheme Him. For their sin, God killed their first child, who was conceived in adultery, but God never told David to leave Bathsheba. In fact, God blessed their second child, Solomon, who was conceived after the two were married. And as we know, Solomon went on to be the wisest man who ever lived.

      Understand that once the sin has been committed, the damage is done. You cannot undo sin; you can only repent of it and confess it. So once a person has married a divorced person, it is useless to try to correct it by leaving, especially if the marriage has been consummated and definitely not if there are children. Two wrongs do not make a right.

      The thing to remember about marriage is that it is holy to God. So He does not take divorce lightly—even when a Christian is married to an unbeliever. Notice that Paul says if the woman should leave, she should “remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.” God does not like divorce. But we all do things out of ignorance and even rebellion. Christians who have divorced their spouses, Christian or not, should know that God frowns upon it. But God knows the hardness of man’s hearts, and that under certain extreme circumstances, like physical abuse, it may be better if the woman left. But even then, she should remain unmarried. Now if she gets married anyway, God is not going to be happy, but He will forgive her. She should just understand that she will have to suffer the consequences of her decision. And there will be consequences. She should just tough it out, understanding that God still loves her. But we should not abuse God’s grace. He knows our hearts, and He knows what our motives are. If we are striving to please the Lord Jesus, we will do everything we can to obey His commandments. And that’s what it’s all about.

      I pray this blesses you.

  1. number 4 sounds just like me and my wife. she left in Jan of 2011. today is 9/7/2011 We have nothing in common any longer, now that im trying to follow The Way (Jesus). I thought that she would want to be saved, but i come to find out, that she HATES anything remotely close to Chrsitianity. i kind of already knew she didnt like church from her little comments. The truth now is she would like a divorce & the sad part about it is. Although i wont persue a divorce (because of the word or God) i dont want to stop it either. I would much rather her go her way so I can live my life with someone who shares the same faith.. . . . . there is SOOOOOO!!!! much to say and SOOOO!! much hurt i feel & NO one to talk to………(DEEP SIGH!!)

    • Anointed, I feel your pain, as I am personally living through a similar situation. The closer you get to Jesus, the farther your wife will likely pull away from you. I know how difficult this is for you. But as hard as this must be for you to hear, Jesus said that anyone who loves family more than He is not worthy of Him. So, we must be obedient. Personal suffering is part of the job description for a true Christian. And I truly believe that the degree of that suffering will be proportionate to our obedience to Jesus Christ.

      I know you would rather enjoy your life with someone of the same faith, but believe me, divorce is not necessarily the answer. For one, there is no guarantee that your life with another believer would be any better. If you are full of the Holy Spirit, even marriage to a believing spouse, who is not so filled could be difficult. You could even be married to a believing spouse who has her own struggles because of generational sin. It is not necessarily as easy as you may think.

      There is a very bright spot, my friend, even if you can’t see it: your wife is not a hypcrite. By that I mean she is not pretending to love Christ while in fact hating him. That means there is always a chance she can be saved. And that should be what you ultimately want for her. It would be great if we could all have spouses who believe as we believe, but that is not what the Lord Jesus has planned for all of us. Each of us has a different future in Christ Jesus. Some are to be happily married in the faith; others are to go through hardship first, to enjoy happiness later, while still others are destined to spend their remaining years in the Lord’s work without a spouse. And each situation has its own merit. The truth is, you don’t know yet what the Lord has planned for you or your wife.

      You have not asked for my advice, but I hope you will receive this, and pray over it, if you are so inclined: Resist the desire for a divorce; rather endeavor to grow in the Lord and to do His will. Unless your wife insists on a divorce, let her know that you are willing to stay in the marriage. As Scripture says, if she leaves you, you are not under any obligation. But if your decision will influence her, please try to stay in the relationship. Imagine the strength of your testimony if God does a work in your wife and she makes a decision for Jesus Christ. It would strengthen your faith also. Sure it will be difficult, but if you will ask Him, the Holy Spirit will give you the wherewithall to endure it. And you will be a stronger Christian for it. Believe me: I speak from experience.

      God has allowed this in your life ultimately for His glory. Wait and see what it is He is doing through you. Remember obedience is better than sacrifice.

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